I started going to church when I was at a young age, never really believing in God, and not knowing really what He did for us! I used church as a get-away from my life at home. I have never had the life I wanted to have! When I was about 10 years old, my parents divorced! I felt lost confused and not sure what was going on! I took it hard! I was still going to church and making it through life the best that I could! When I was about 12 or 13, I got baptized at the Church of the Nazarene! Looking back on that way makes me wonder if I did it for the right reasons or did I do it because all my friends did!
When I was in 8th grade I moved away from Prineville and away from church! I lost in touch with God and I found my relationship with Him gone! I was not going to church and I didn’t really become friends with the people that did! At that time I didn’t own a bible of my own and to this day I still don’t own a bible of my own! We moved again and again. I was not friends with the people that went to church! However my boyfriend was a Christian but I never went to church with him!
One summer I went to stay with my mom for the summer and ended up moving in with her! I had a few friends that went to church but I never went with them! I was too busy living life as a teenager… drinking smoking and what not! Soon after high school I moved home and went to church but it was not the same as it was when I was little! I felt out of place! I felt like I should not be there so I stopped going and got a job! I got pregnant! I lost the baby which was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life! I wanted to be a mom so bad I want someone to love no matter what! 10 Months to the day, almost to the hour that I lost the baby my son Joshua was born! That was the best day of my life I finally had someone to love me like I always had dreamed off! But that soon was destroyed when the state of Oregon took him away from me! Again I felt alone hurt confused and scared! I had to give my son up for adoption or never see him again! That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do!
I was depressed I didn’t care about myself I didn’t care about life I didn’t care about anything! At this point I didn’t care if I was alive. I felt like my family shut me out of life they didn’t see me or call me! I felt more alone then I have ever felt! This went on for 2 or 3 years! No one seemed to understand how painful it was to lose everything and feel like you were not wanted!
In March of 2009 I moved home after a hard break-up with a guy I thought was the one! I started going back to church and getting the relationship with God back! For once in my life I was happy with how my life was and were it was! On 9~20-2010 I helped with the i heart Central Oregon Campaign. I loved ever minute of that day! It was amazing!
That night, my life changed in away that I have been wanting it to for so long! I want and saw Nick Vujicic at the Deschutes County Fairgrounds! Talk about an amazing speaker I love every moment of it! At the end Nick said if you want to give your life to Jesus Christ to night it the night! He told us to come forward and someone would pray with you! I was not going to go forward but something was pulling me! As I made me way to the front of this huge room! I felt a hand on my shoulder – I turned to see who I was and it was Pastor Matt from my church. we stood there and prayed that was the most powerful prayer in my life!
I know that from this day forward my life would be different! A few months after I gave my life to Jesus I moved to Klamath Falls! I soon found myself turning away from God and everything that I worked so hard for! After four and a half months I moved back home!! I was happy to be back home because I could force on getting my relationship back with God and getting my life back to where I wanted it to be!
I stated going back to church the day after I got home! I had am having a hard time getting my relationship with God back to where I want it to be! I have not given up! It’s hard but I know that I can do it!
My life is great right now I have support from my friend and their help with getting my relationship back to where it need to be!
I am slowly getting my life back on the right path. I start school in the fall and plan in continue on making my relationship with God better!